not to think about you, LORD,
or even mention your name.
But your message burns
in my heart and bones,
and I cannot keep silent.
Jeremiah 20:9 (CEV)
Unlike some "cradle Christians", I remember when I didn't believe. Looking back on my life, I know I didn't believe in the Lord Jesus Christ from the day of my birth until Saturday, May 15th, 1993 at about Noon.
During those 35 first years of my life, I truly thought my mindset and activities were consistent with those of the Christians around me, so I too would be "goin' up yonder" as the song says. But after that day in 1993 when God saved me, I realized my past wasn't what I thought. Sure, I could walk the walk and talk the talk. In some churches I attended, I had even been chosen into positions of leadership. But I wasn't saved, because I didn't BELIEVE.
Romans 10:9 tells us that if we confess with our mouths that Jesus is Lord, and believe in our hearts God raised him from the dead, we will be saved. As I look back, I realize I was confessing with my mouth that Jesus is Lord, AND I believed God raised him from the dead.... sort of. You see, my belief was in my head, just like my "belief" in Abraham Lincoln and my "belief" in the laws of physics. I had a belief that I now recognize was merely intellectual assent. My head told me anything's possible, so I went along with the notion that God can raise Jesus from the dead. So that meant I believed, right?
The Greek word from which we translate the English word "believe" is πιστεύω. This word can mean a deep-seated, heart belief, or it can mean a shallow, intellectual, head belief. So it's easy to see how some people can think they believe, yet not believe. The only way to differentiate between the beliefs is to ask yourself, where inside me does my belief in Jesus exist?
How can you tell the difference? Here are a few of the external differentiators I apply to my own life, that I use to tell me if I'm "in my head" or "in my heart". Perhaps they'll be helpful for you as well:
HEAD BELIEF:
When I'm looking at my watch, and getting concerned about the length of the service, I'm in my HEAD.
When I find myself thinking about anything except what the preacher is talking about (such as bills, my calendar this week, whether my tie is straight, etc.), I'm in my HEAD.
When I'm concerned about how silly I'll look if I fall on my face in worship, I'm in my HEAD.
When I get to church when I get there, and immediately head for a seat in the back of the sanctuary where I won't be noticed, I'm in my HEAD.
When I choose to attend one or perhaps a couple services throughout the week, but decide I'm too busy to attend all the services, I'm in my HEAD.
When I skip Sunday School (which occurs between our Sunday morning services) because I have "things to do" (EVEN THINGS FOR THE CHURCH), I'm in my HEAD.
When I think that tithing is too expensive and won't fit into my budget, I'm in my HEAD.
When my worship involvement is merely doing what the people around me are doing, I'm in my HEAD.
When I go the entire day and never think if Jesus (even if I've thought of "church"), I'm in my HEAD.
When I zip through the ritual of saying grace before my meals, instead of truly giving thanks, I'm in my HEAD.
When I don't pray and instead tell myself "The Lord knows my heart", I'm not in my heart. I'm in my HEAD.
When I find I have to use a book or other written aid to formulate my prayers, I'm in my HEAD.
HEART BELIEF:
When I suddenly find tears welling up in my eyes, I'm in my HEART (BIG indicator).
When I don't care what the people around me think, and praise God as loud as I like, I'm in my HEART.
When I find myself yearning to get into the sanctuary to worship - often indicated by my arriving early to service and zipping past the greeters and my friends - I'm in my HEART.
When I find myself giving - of my money, time, or talent - based on how I feel led rather than how my budget or schedule look, I'm in my HEART.
When I yearn to share my testimony, even though some may think I'm being too open or too trusting, I'm in my HEART.
When I find myself wanting to share about the goodness of Jesus with everyone, even those I don't know, I'm in my HEART.
When the scriptures become a "burning fire" inside of me that I can't stop from repeating, I'm in my HEART (Jeremiah 20:9).
Luke 24:32 (NIV) - They asked each other, "Were not our hearts burning within us while he talked with us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us?"
Get Jesus into your HEART. If you're unsure about Jesus' location inside, just ask "Jesus, I know I've messed up in my life, but today I accept you as my Lord and savior. I ask you to come into my heart, and live there." Next, ensure you're "plugged into" a church that preaches God's word so much that it begins to burn inside you. Attend as much as you can, and stay there no matter how uncomfortable the word seems. God's word has the power to convict, to heal, and to transform.
He did it for me, and he can surely do it for you. God bless!
© 2008 Scotty Ward
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